Wednesday, October 14, 2009

PF Chang Gang

I don't remember the first time I had Chinese food, but I'm sure my maiden voyage into the seas of chinese cuisine involved something inauthentic and tasty. I love fake Chinese food.

At some point in my life, before my vegetarian phase, I was obsessed with sweet and sour pork. I'd buy it, refrigerate it so the chunks of pork would be cold bite sized nuggets of fat and congealed sauce and pop those babies in my mouth with a set of disposable chopsticks. The large chunks of pineapple or green bell pepper and onions were always appreciated as adding a novel and delusional healthy element to a catastrophic dietary disaster aka deep fried battered pork inundated with a sugary oily sauce. No vitamins or minerals but a whole lotta yumyum.

Even now, when I see a TV show or movie where the characters are eating Chinese take-out from those white envelope topped cartons, I drool a little thinking it might be sweet and sour pork or kung pao shrimp or chow mein. Legal shows have a lot of those scenes when the lawyers are working late. Somehow, pizza doesn't quite cut it in terms of suggesting an all night work session. Neither does a 3 item combo from Panda Express. It's got to be the white cartons and the chopsticks and the legal pad and the pacing back and forth.

At any rate, I guess this is a huge prelude to saying I like fake chinese food. A lot. It's actually one of my favorite meals. So it goes without saying that I love PF Changs. Hence, a few weeks ago, when @activefoodie tweeted to @frenchchefwife that they should go to PF Changs, I totally invited myself. Happily, @dianatakesabite also was invited to the chow mein chowdown. I think we all did a really fine job ordering and eating. This is what we had.

Chicken lettuce wraps. Whoever thought of using iceberg lettuce as a "saam" for fried chicken chunks is a genius. Again, the fake healthy element is fooling no one but I like the attempt. Very valiant.

pf chang lettuce wrap
Diana placed an order of the honey walnut shrimp. Delicious.
honey shrimp
Krissy ordered the Mongolian Beef. One of my all time favorite PF Chang items. I don't know what makes this thing so smoky, sweet and meaty but I love it.
mong beef better

She also ordered the Dan Dan noodles. Genius. These were very similar to the Dan Dan noodles I had at 101 Noodle Express. Hand over heart. Savory, rich, peanutty, chewy. The whole kit and kaboodle.
dan dan

My choice always: Lemon pepper shrimp. This is crazy good, crispy, citrusy, sweet and peppery all in harmonious balance like an old man doing tai chi in the park. The fried chunks of lemon I eat it rind and all. Superb.

The only downside to the lemon pepper shrimp is that more likely than not your teeth will be studded with big chunks of pepper so stop smiling after you eat this dish. Just keep your lips covered over them teef until you've sonic cared them at home.
lemon pepper shrimp
I think ActiveFoodie requested some greens. She's a good girl. She's going to veggie heaven. Hopefully, she can rescue me from the more deep fried pastures where I will end up.
DianaTakesaBite testing out the plastic cheesecake. Rarrrr...
FrenchChefWife's fortune was a most promising one.
krissy's fortune
This cheesecake, I went to town on it. Pretty much Diana and I were the biggest eaters. This cheesecake didn't stand a chance. RIP cheesecake, RIP.
So for you PF Chang haters, you don't know what you're missing. It's some good shit, and I'm gonna eat it again. Real soon. And I'm gonna like it. So there.
P.F. Chang's China Bistro on Urbanspoon


  1. hahaha. you took me to a new gross level with your description of the refrigerated sweet and sour pork. nuggets of congeeled goodness....

  2. [muttering] Weezermonkey, you're not missing out.

  3. [Sigh] Ignorant fools. Twas a fine night, a fine night, indeed.

  4. Not even gonna pretend I read this post. Skipping to the next.

  5. Sookie - Your words are so powerful that you've managed to convince me that PF Chang's is worthwhile. I think you're using your smarts for evil ;-)

  6. Just ... no. I *do* know what I'm missing, but hey, enjoy your fake Chinese.

    BTW, have you ever read "The Fortune Cookie Chronicles"? It's all about your favorite food.

  7. you're a polarizing force indeed, Yuttie. you really haven't had authentic Chinese cheesecake like my ancestors made though. lotus paste & red bean.

  8. bags: chinese food is like revenge: a dish better served cold. Damn. that's gold girl. write it down.

    weezer: [whispering] get thee to a pf changery...

    kevineats: [muttering] i respectfully dissent.

    diana: twas the night before mozza and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse... huh? yeah.

    Sinosoul: uou not only read it; you read it twice. don't lie.

    gassy: i use everything at my disposal for evil. it's my thang.

    chicken: welcome to my world chicken. and thank you for your comment. i have not read the fortune cookie chron. i'm borderline illiterate. but after i get hooked on phonics, i'll read it. pinkie promise.

    hydia: i'm like richard nixon. or maybe everyone just hated him. i think it's up to you to show me the chinese cheesecake. and by show me, i mean feed me. yeah. that's my throwdown to you bobby flay.