Presume the Best and Maybe You'll Get a Huge Chicken Kebob

My dog is presumptuous. Which is why he's charming. The very instant I bring home a new dog bed and it hits the ground, Cooper places his paws onto the bed and then sinks his furry ass down on it presuming that it belongs to him. The effrontery! It could be my new foot cushion or something.

Foot cushion my ass. This whole sand is my foot cushion. Why I look so sad? Why you so nosy?

Whenever I go to the kitchen, he presumes, likewise, that it's to get him something to eat so he accompanies me. Often times when he sees a stranger walking down the street he presumes this stranger would like to pet him and so he noses their legs - occasionally to their great and vocal displeasure.

I suppose Cooper's presumptuousness is, to some degree, a species of optimism. It's a way of saying, I'd rather be hopeful than right. I'm afraid I have generally preferred being right to almost anything else in life. How unlikeable of me. But that's how my father was, and my father's father before him, and I suspect my father's father's father and so on, all the way back to the original yutjangsah. Sometimes - maybe too often - I have found myself presuming the worst, or at least not the best, about people, places and things.

And this was certainly the case when our friend Nas informed me and Soojin that we were going to have lunch to celebrate all of our birthdays at some place called Panini Cafe. In Sherman Oaks. My suspicions that I would have a second rate soggy sandwich were not allayed when I realized that I'd seen this orange and white striped awning in Beverly Hills before such that this was a chain restaurant on top of being called Panini Cafe and on top of being located in Sherman Oaks.

Well, friends, I should have known a Persian Jew aka a Korean by another mother and father knew her food. We had ginormous juicy grilled white meat chicken kebobs with rice and salad for $9.99 are you out of your mind. We also had a lovely bread pudding with ice cream for dessert.

Back and Front; either way it's bootiful.

I'd never seen a candle in a bread pudding before. Now, I have.

Best of all, the lunch conversation's juiciness rivaled and perhaps bested the kebobs themselves. So, presume the best and maybe you'll get a giant luscious chicken kebob with all the fixins. For $9.99. Mazeltov!

[Disclaimer: Results May Vary. You should not take Presumptions if you are taking an IMO inhibitor or have kidney or liver problems or have a history of eating bad food at shady looking places hoping for the best. Consult your physician to see if Presumptions is right for you.]