Monday, October 4, 2010

The bitter with the sweets

phoenix bakery

A friend o mine recently came back from a trip to China and Singapore. You can imagine, hmmm? The epic meals eh? She had such a meal in Singapore, she was inspired to start a blog. Sort of. It's not up and running yet but I'll give it a shout out when it is.

Why do we blog? Well, we don't, but we may do so. I do it because I'm Gordon Gekko. Greed is Gouda. I recently got my foodbuzz notification that I earned $2. That's all I need to hear. Baby needs new shoe...laces. Money never sleeps. Neither do pennies. All 200 of mine gots insomnia. Thanks mom. And @dianatakesabite, @mylastbite and @gastronomyblog. You guys are getting brand new cherry red Ferraris. Or a piano from Shaeffer & Sons. Or an expired groupon to a bad restaurant. I know. My generosity knows no bounds.

This summer sidled past me like a Korean ajummah levitates in front of you in line at Kim's Jungee the day before Xmas when you find yourself drawn like a foolish Korean salmon returning to the familiar waters of Kim's Jungee though certain death at the hands of a grizzly bear ajummah awaits you there. I spent this summer like a tomato soup that someone had lowered a giant immersion blender into. I could go on in this vein but you dig.


Despite doin' the time warp again, I made it a point to try Magnolia. I had to. Maggie the Cat is alive. And she likes cupcakes. So, I placed my index sausagetips together and I stopped time. If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is to save every day til eternity passes away, just to spend them with you sang a dying man to his son whom he would not see grow up. I, apparently, faced with almost no leisure time in a finite life, would choose to go to Magnolia. And buy four cupcakes and a magic bar. Because you can't save time in a bottle but you can eat a little bit of sunshine baked into a pleated paper cup. We call it the governor's reprieve. You call it a cupcake.

magnolia finger pointing
Let the finger pointing begin.

magnolia counter

Now, it's my turn.


These look remarkably like dried turds.


Look at these beauties.

cupcake bite mark

My dental records in case I go missing.

These were the best gd'd cupcakes I'd ever had in my life. I know. Everyone says these aren't even good compared to the NY ones so I can't imagine what those are like. The frosting is an absurd compendium of a paragon of girl with curious hair like virtues. Fluffy tall proud and unapologetically sweet but not too much and as Goldilocks predictably says, just right.

The magic bar, however, can't hold a candle to Joans on Turd.

Then I got home after my bar method class from which I repaired after eating my cupcake and found that our guests had purchased sticky buns from Sweet Lady Jane. My sugarcup runneth over. I didn't know sticky buns and cinnamon rolls were not one and the same but turns out they are distinct creatures. Sticky buns aren't gooey. They are chewey and carmelized and nutty and crunchy and toffee assed. Baby you can drive my car. That's how good these are.

sticky buns

The last sweet I had that stands out from this summer was from Maison du Pain. An apricot tart for the ages. Thin, elegant yet voluptuous like swallering egg yolks of summer in a sheet of golden light. Do you see the diamonds sparkling from this tart? Bling bling.

apricot diamond
Magnolia Bakery on Urbanspoon

La Maison Du Pain on Urbanspoon


  1. Why you no blog more? It's been like turdy months or something.

  2. I'm gonna thank you early for my brand new cherry red Ferrari! You are too kind, Yutty!

  3. A new post from the Yutz! Yay!

    Those cookehs do look like turds.

    N dat tart do sparkelz. Ima ask mah huzbendz to make me a ring outta one.

  4. WeemonksL It has been 4 skor bars and turdy months! Lotsa work. You know. But I'm back Jacques. Sort of. We'll see.

    Gassy: I'll personalize the pleather seats too. They'll read gastronomyblog. hehe.

    DailyG: You can haz tart diamonds cuz you're a diamond girl aka 80s kid.

  5. I canz notz waitz for the Ferrari. My car is broke like Gordon Gekko isn't.

    I like those Magnolia Cupcakes. The chocolate one made me want to cry a river of fudge. And then lick it off my face.