Sunday, October 16, 2011

Lefty for Life

Don't you hate that annoying ass tourist who you show like the Eiffel Tower to and he's like oh we got something like this in America but it's better, it's called the St. Louis Arch. You go to the leaning tower of Pisa and she's like man, these Pisans should fix this, it's all crooked like their teeth.

We all do this really and it's just a way of saying, my hometown is the best. LA is hard to beat. That's all I'm saying really. NY is great but it's just never gonna be on par or even in contention or top of the heap despite the song. I mean, Frank Sinatra, once he hit the top, lived in LA did he not? Sure did.

NY has got some good looks though. Let's not lie. Central Park is nice. It is indeed a glorious park as Herb and Fritzi know.

Tunnels enhance the nature-ness.

Sasquatch lives.

There are lots of pretzel carts outside the Met. All of which claim NY provenance. NY pretzel cart. Pretzel Co. of NY etc. etc. I mean, can you imagine if you came all the way to NY and you ate a New Jersey pretzel by mistake? That would be terrible. It's not gonna happen though, rest assured, the NY carts will see to that.

We had to go to Katz's because how could you not? You must. It's like going to Vienna and not eating Vienna sausages. Be culturally sensitive. Geez.

Business is good. And there's different striations of society here like there are different striations of fat in the pastrami. Immigrants and businessmen and students and tourists. We all love When Harry Met Sally. And Meg Ryan - you can spell it Rye-in. Coincidence? I think not.

The Pechter in the Rye.

The giant trenchers of pickles gladden the Korean pickle addicted heart which beats for the pickle.

Those in the know - the regs- order plates of thick piles of pastrami and they get the bread on the side. It's really a surgeon general's nightmare. Then the pastrami slicers hand you a slice of meat while you wait like a foretaste of death. It's Machiavellian. But spelled pastrami.

If you can't navigate the line it's probably because you're a Valley girl. But kevineats has been kind enough to try and explain that there are many lines, just pick one - preferably the shortest one - and then order your food, then move your ass over to the drinks line and order some drinks then sit down, eat your food and chew carefully because no one knows how to do the heimlich maneuver, then pay at the door. If you hesitate over which line to pick, you will be called over by the pastrami slicers who are adept at dealing with Valley girls.

You can buy a salami and there are desserts too. But I didn't see anyone else eating any dessert so I didn't get one either. It's strictly monkey see monkey do when you're a tourist. Don't do what the other monkeys aren't doing bc you'll probably be stoned to death. I'm no Rick Steves but just trust me.

Does anyone see a problem with the pickle situation here? Because let me tell you, this plate is missing some pickles. We didn't get the kelly green ones just the olive green ones. My heart like stopped when I saw this tray coming at me devoid of certain of the pickles that I had seen and noted but I decided to let it go. Because I'm normal and I'm not crazy. I'm not going to go over and demand more pickles. I'm going to eat the pickles I have and I'm going to like it. Then I'm going to think about why we didn't get the other pickles more times than a rabid dog thinks about biting into your brains.

I think, after deep thought, what happened is that when we ordered pickled tomatoes which are like a dollar or two, we probably got asked whether we wanted the regular pickles and there was a mis-communication and somehow... oh, you stopped reading the pickle rant like 5 min ago? okay, I'm moving on too.

Anyhoo, chicken noodle soup. Not great. But I loved it anyways.

The pastrami sandwich was good but (this is where you may want to stop reading if you're easily annoyed or from NY or you love Katz's) I'm thinking it probably wasn't the best pastrami sandwich ever plated. I'm sure Langer's bread is rye-ier, and it's just a thick slab of serious rami for your mommy served up hot mean and greasy. This is not like that.

My yobosaeyo agreed. He claimed some pastrami he had in Culver City was better which is like grounds for fatwa probably so let's not circulate that too widely.

Would I go back? Absolutely. It's a really great place and it's very good stuff. And I'm still watching When Harry Met Sally whenever it's on TV and I'm going to love NY all over again whenever I see it. And I'm going to watch Serendipity and love NY all over again whenever I see it.

We took a walk after lunch. Walking off the fatses from Katz's. We looked at secret gardens. Then we walked back to the hotel and ate a Dylan's Candy Bar chocolate bar from the mini-bar.

Overall, I loved the Met a lot. And I barely scratched the surface. We got a membership because after getting two admission tickets, it's almost the cost of a membership. You can actually donate whatever you want, say $5, and get in even though the recommended donation is $25. The membership really paid off the next day when we stopped in to use the restroom. They don't let you use them unless you pay for admission. I know. Animal cruelty.

Portraits of boys with their dogs are amongst my favorites.

Here's lookin at you NY kid and NY dog.


  1. Nora Ephron prefers Langer's, too (and she's a New Yorker).

    We're in good company!

  2. I'm still thinking about the pickles. And you can betcha your bottom dollar I would have asked fo new pickles. Mmm hmm, I would not have what you's was havin'.

  3. Weezermonkey, if Nora Ephron said it, who am I to dispute it? I mean, she wrote heartburn, right? Clearly, a byproduct of trying out pastrami sandwiches. The East Coast West Coast dialogue continues. Let us advocate for the latter. Unless some rappers show up with guns. Then we switch real fast.

    Diana, A few years ago, I decided that when I travel, for the sake of my traveling companions, I need to tone the everyday ghetto street violence I like to engage in if, say, I notice some pickles are missing, and go "Anne Hathaway". It makes for a more pleasant experience for others. I of course miss acting crazy but hey, I do that the other 360 days of the year. Believe me, I considered walking behind the counter and grabbing a bunch of pickles and shoving them in my mouf as an example of what happens when pickles are denied wrongfully. Self-help pastrami man. But no. I'm on vacation. It's okay. Anne Hathaway. Princess Diaries.

  4. love the last shot -- the boy's totally "I hope I won't be the inspiration for a Law & Order: SVU episode!"

  5. RE: street pretzel shot
    does the hub's ring bother him? Cuz I (and half a million dudes who got married this decade) had the same ring.

    When I was washing dishes/wrenching on the car, etc., I just had to take it off.

  6. Every tourist spot have certain qualities for different places. Great shots!

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  7. Lovely Pics! You sure made me hungry though!!